So, how did January and my goal work go?
Let’s review the struggle. In January, this is what happened:
- My daughters – both of them – moved into an apartment (it’s a good and happy thing, more on this later)
- I changed jobs, we might even say careers
- Portions of my house went back into the construction zone
My goal was to strictly restrict my alcohol intake to 2 drinks per week, and it didn’t happen. What did I learn, however?
I re-learned that when you are aware and part of a struggle, the universe responds. In the February issue of More magazine, I read an article titled My (Reluctant) Fitness Makeover by Judith Newman. In this article, she describes her “endless bargaining with alcohol.” She explained the core of the problem more clearly than I could: “The problem with booze, for the moderate drinker, is not the booze. It is the lack of inhibition that booze inspires. So if the Brie and crackers are easy to forgo before the Chardonnay, they start singing a siren song the moment you begin sipping.”
So true, so true, my dear.
So, getting back to my struggle – I decided to think about what would Buddha do? I thought about it and remembered a fundamental truth – the human condition is to struggle.
I reminded myself of a fundamental belief that I often need to be reminded of – love thyself. Now, go with me on this one. A long time ago, my husband and I were going through a really hard time. He was working a long way away and was gone all week, sometimes for weeks at a time. At the same time, I was working a full-time job, part-time jobs, and taking graduate classes in Technical Communication. Plus, my daughters were going through the worst of their teenage stuff.
It was an awful time, truly awful, and it took me awhile, but I made the decision to simply be happy. Sound odd? It really isn’t odd at all. I realized that happiness is a choice. Finding my center of happiness, which is within myself, alleviates my ‘need’ to have a drink. It’s simple. I just love myself more.
In addition, I am also practicing forgiveness for myself. My focus is to alleviate not only the desire to drink through finding my joy, my love for myself, but also to find balance in forgiveness.
My weight is better – it’s coming back down. I only had 4 pounds to lose (thank goodness), but still it’s still tough. I think the loss in weight is due to my getting back to yoga regularly. And that brings us to February’s goals – get to yoga more often. Yoga eases the tension, helps me breathe through anything – even through the changes I’ve been facing lately – and it gives me balance. Nothing but yoga gives me the feeling of being centered, balanced, steady.
So, in February, I will be practicing forgiveness and yoga.
As always, thank you and I hope you’ll wish me luck!