Fair warning: this post is going to be full of whining and I apologize in advance for that.
All week, I’ve woken to this:
So, this morning I’m up early – like 5 a.m. early – because Max doesn’t like it when Steve leaves, so he wails at the door every morning for about a half hour and nothing will shut him up. I’ve tried squirting him with water and the more kind technique of dragging him to the bed with me, but the only thing that works if I just get up and start my day while pet and talking to him.
Of course, it’s also at this time that the inflatable mattress we’re camping on has lost most of its air and I’m mostly on the floor already so I might as well get up. This is the second mattress we’ve had and they were each brand new. They seem great for the first night or two and then they leak faster and faster. It’s incredibly uncomfortable and I remind myself that this will all be funny sometime down the road when I’ve moved into a house and have my own wonderful bed again. It’s just not very funny right now.
Yesterday, as I was driving to the Y for a workout, a driver in the lane to the left of me decides he needs to get in the right lane where I am. So, instead of slowing down or speeding up, he simply starts nudging into my lane. Now, I can forgive the whole not-using-a-blinker thing, but just pushing me out of the way? And here’s the worst part: this is the fourth time it’s happened and I’ve only been here a month.
I’ll say it once and try to keep it to myself hereafter (at least in the blog): many Santa Barbara drivers appear to display an overwhelming sense of entitlement and spoiled brattiness. I’ve never seen anything like it. I’ve literally been driven off the road twice and managed splendid defensive maneuvers (involving slamming on the brakes and sliding) the other times. I’ve seen people yank their cars across three lanes of rushing traffic to make an exit without seeming to care for everyone else who is driving on the same road as they are. I’ve seen drivers reading their email as they weave back and forth across lanes (the 101 through town is very curvy and it requires a good deal of attention)!
After yesterday’s road attack, however, compiled with continually being wrapped in clouds and gloom, I cried. I kept crying until I got to the Y parking lot and then parked and cried some more. I’m so homesick I can’t stand it. It takes everything I have to get up, do good work, try to smile every day, and get some sleep each night.
I know this is temporary, and I acknowledge that I’m lucky. I live in America where I am safe and I have opportunities that other people can only dream of. I’m not being bombed. My children are healthy and educated. I can freely drive and earn my own money. This junk I’m going through is temporary and it will pass.
Today, however, there is more of the same:
So, I’ve packed my workout bag and after I go to the gym today, I’m heading to where there is a little more sun. That should help. I hope.